Updated: Feb 29, 2020
When is it time to ask for help?
This has been on my mind lately.
How do we know? Or rather, when do we reach the point that we allow ourselves to ask for it?
Who do we ask? Or rather, when will we realize our friends and family mean well but may not be able to provide the proper support we need?
How do we ask? Or rather, how do we find the courage to reach out and admit we might be having a hard time going at it alone?
I think it’s safe to say that most of us have been conditioned to believe that asking for help means you are “weak.” But on the contrary, it takes a great amount of strength to be vulnerable, face your own shortcomings and struggles and ask for what you know you need.
I’m no stranger to asking for professional help. For me, it started at the age of 13. Only, back then I didn’t want the help. I was drowning in the chokehold of my eating disorder when my brother {whom I love beyond words} ratted me out to my mom. My incredibly strong mother, a nurse, approached the situation very matter of factly, met me with unconditional love, and got me the help I needed. I went to countless therapists, dietitians, psychologists, and psychiatrists. Although I fought it at the time – I didn’t want to give up my eating disorder, I didn’t want to change, things only someone with an eating disorder can understand – in hindsight, I am so incredibly thankful for my brother, mom, and dad, and countless professionals who stood by me as I navigated my way out.
Cut to years and years later, I went through an epic break-up worthy of a Lifetime movie. Instead of playing the victim, pointing fingers, and dwelling in my heartbreak, the first thing I did was pick up the phone to find a new therapist. I needed help; I knew I had demons to face and couldn’t get through it alone. I stayed with that therapist until I left NYC to move back to Kansas City. I don’t know who or where I would be if I had not had her to help me sort through my inner matrix.
Once I allowed myself to receive help, the people I needed to meet along my journey just started showing up – synchronicity, such a beautiful thing. Believe it or not, at one point I was completely lost in the gym, without a clue what to do beyond walking straight into a Group Fitness room, with my head down (avoid eye contact at all costs because they all know you have NO CLUE what you’re doing). And then I met Andralk {Andy}, a personal trainer. He had the tools that I wanted access to. He saw something in me that I couldn’t yet see in myself. He offered to help and I dove in headfirst, soaking up every bit of knowledge I could while pouring out my blood, sweat, and tears. He didn’t just transform my physical body; Andy transformed my life {we’ll save that transformation for another blog post}. He became my chosen family, he taught me the definition of strength {both inside and outside of the weight room}, he changed my trajectory and inspired me to become a Group Fitness Instructor, Personal Trainer, and Holistic Health Coach.
Since then, I have worked with mindfulness coaches, macro coaches, other personal trainers, Acupuncturists, Chiropractors, Reiki Masters, energy healers, business professionals, personal development gurus, and many others in between. I’m a coach who stands firmly in the belief that every great coach needs a coach. I’ve entered each and every experience with an open mind and heart, ready and willing to receive. And I gave myself permission to be a bit of a mess in the process, knowing that each of these humans had a message and lesson I needed to get closer to my highest self and full potential.
Asking for help ain’t always easy, I get it. You have to admit you don’t know it all and you are far from perfect – hi, I’m type A in disguise, can you tell. But damn, is it always worth it. Sometimes, you just have to ask for help so you can find the clarity to see that you already have the answers right inside you!
What’s stopping you from asking for help? What will it take for you to give yourself permission to do what you know you need to do?
